Who is in Charge?
YES MINISTER’S - SIR HUMPHREY 2022 - 2025
RAINBOW TIE TANGO WITH TRUSS
Come in, come in, the Permanent Sec glides,
they/them in a suit stitched from a thousand pride flags.
Rainbow tie pulsing like a disco squid,
pronoun badge big as a knighthood gong.
“Very brave, Minister,” they purr through glitter teeth,
“but have you filed the Lived-Experience Grief?”
The lettuce cam hums on the mahogany desk,
romaine-non-binary, streaming in 4K stress.
One click and the 1922 WhatsApp roars,
“Order 44, repeat, Order 44!”
BoE tweets QT at 09:01 sharp,
pound dives faster than a diversity chart.
Sir Humphrey leans close, tie flashing red-to-dead,
“Minister, growth is so last century, my dear.
We don’t cut spending, we queer it instead.”
But leave the dept intact, too still be the Premier.
Forty-four days till the lettuce outlives,
PM gone, tie still pulsing, cage still exists
Dept intact not a scratch, Government thrives.
Truss is blamed, crucified, no career survives.
Come on, come on, the altar is lit,
rainbow flames lick the debt as they sit.
Sir Humphrey just smiles, safe-word in cheek:
“Very bold policy… now watch it leak.”
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